When living with MS, the challenges can often feel overwhelming, especially when stress levels rise and you realize there’s no escape from the symptoms. This constant battle with stress, compounded by the unpredictable nature of Multiple Sclerosis, can make it difficult to maintain a sense of normalcy. However, it’s crucial to recognize that while MS may bring chaos, you have the power to manage it and turn that chaos into harmony. Like a carefully composed piece of music, when stress is well-managed, it becomes part of the rhythm of life rather than a source of disorder.
Rising stress brings along many ailments, including MS. Like a piece of music with an increasing rhythm, if a small crumb of stress (melody) isn’t well-managed, it doesn’t turn into music but, unfortunately, into chaos. However, when we realize we can turn it into music, allow me to use a cliché; ‘You become the DJ of your life.’ 🙂
Making a comeback after a long break, I’m shamelessly continuing with clichés.
I’ve missed chatting with you! ❤ (and having my monologues).
While “fight or flight” is usually a choice, the “of course we’ll fight!” situation that everyone with MS or similar conditions experiences can be annoying.
Of course, we’ll fight. But that’s not the point.
Let’s dance through life with MS, one step at a time.
What we really want is to spend time with people who say, ‘You’re tired, come and rest. You don’t need to fight while you’re with us; try to distance yourself from everything for a bit.’
I feel this a lot at home when living with MS, thank goodness. But for this reason, I distance myself from my social life outside. Whenever MS tires me out, the first thing I cut off is my presence in social settings. It can be on social media, writing, rowing club, or chatting with friends. I withdraw from everyone all at once, without much distinction. I think I heal my fatigue wounds best at home ❤ (despite my singing cat).
Istanbul is one of those sources of fatigue when living with MS. Yes, I generally just go to give blood and pick up my medications. Occasionally, I see my doctor and get an MRI.
But this time, I didn’t fall apart before going; it happened after returning. I couldn’t get back on track. With your permission, I’d like to examine this a bit.
Living with MS: Let’s dive into my inner world a bit 😀
(Crazy, huh?!)
Before this trip to Istanbul, I exercised almost daily, ate well, and kept my morale high. Even though I didn’t like disrupting this self-formed routine for the trip, I had no problems while going. However, I couldn’t get back to the same routine after returning.
I feel like that train has left.
“It was good; I was walking, rowing; the sea is still perfect for rowing…” These monologues keep happening, and I keep asking myself, ‘So what’s holding you back now?’
Believe me, I can’t find the answer.
Well, of course, I do. The answer is always work. “Because of work… Work is very intense… There’s so much work, ugh..” But “that work” was there before I left. You didn’t quit, you’re still working, and before you left, you set up the blog and launched it, remember? You had taken on more work, remember? (still talking to herself… I told you she’s crazy :p)
Actually, what happens, you know, when these monologues start, I get back into that routine in less than two days. My problem is not seeing that I can get back to that routine. After a few days of chaos like “What was the old routine, how was it, am I an alien, is this my home, whose cat is this yelling?” (I’m exaggerating, of course), suddenly;
“Wait a minute! Everything was like this before I left, so I can re-establish that routine, even better!”
Here comes the ‘just want it’ magic I’ve often mentioned in my previous writings.
It’s like a spark, that “aha” moment, the “of course!” moment. “I can do this!” And then, “I can get myself back together, so what, I liked that routine anyway.” This is the final version.
I was surprised that I didn’t fall apart before leaving. I even analyzed my lack of excitement on the way. I joked, “Do I need to be exposed to it for a year not to get excited and not fall apart because of a situation?” But I think it takes me about a month to recover after returning. Let’s see, I’ll closely monitor my pre- and post-departure fall-aparts on my next trip.
Maybe I need to start writing as soon as I return to recover faster? Because as far as I can observe, I write an article titled “I’ve fallen apart again” and then I recover. So the magic is in that article. (Dedicated to the muse)
Living with chronic conditions like MS may distance us from social life from time to time, but it’s in our hands to rebuild our routines and manage this process. We can find the strength we need to cope with stress and take control of our lives within ourselves. As the DJ of our lives, we can turn our melody into music, not chaos.
Even though MS tires us out and affects our social lives, it’s crucial to make an effort to take care of ourselves and find balance in our inner world. Taking care of yourself and spending time with supportive people will be our biggest asset on this challenging journey (and it is).
I might accept that falling apart is normal when I recover quickly afterward, but I’m glad I’ve already normalized it.
Thank you for joining me on this little long journey into my inner world 🙂
P!
