Claiming vs. Asserting

We often know the difference between claiming and asserting. But in our daily lives, are we truly asserting, or are we just waiting for approval? Most of us don’t even realize how often we seek validation without meaning to.

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We say we’re confident, but deep down, we might still be subtly asking others to confirm it. So, let’s explore: Do we need to claim something to be confident? Or is it enough to simply assert it without requiring anyone else to agree?

Am I Good Enough?

The truth is, I know I am. I am good at writing, blending colors, creating in 3D, having deep conversations with AI, and even keeping my amygdala balanced. And every day, I get better. Yet, I’ve never said, “I am the best at this.” Why? Because I’ve always felt like making such a claim would require external proof.

Just like calling myself a writer. Last week, for the first time, someone asked me what I do, and I said, “I’m a writer.” It felt strange—like I was giving myself a title I hadn’t yet earned.

But then I thought:

• I have been writing for years.
• I have books, even if I haven’t published them yet.
• I’m working on a new book.
• I have a blog, and I treat it like my work.

So why wouldn’t I assert that I am a writer?

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Claiming vs. Asserting: A Subtle but Powerful Shift

Let’s break it down.

Claiming → “I am this, and others should acknowledge it.”

Asserting → “I am this, and that’s enough.”

A claim demands external validation.

An assertion comes from within.

Think about it.

• If an artist paints a masterpiece but no one has seen it yet, can they still assert that they are an artist?
• If a writer has drafts and unpublished works, does that mean they can’t assert their identity as a writer?

The moment we stop claiming and waiting for permission, we start asserting with quiet confidence.

Confidence Without the Race

I don’t think I have a strong sense of fierce determination. People with fierce determination are always in a race, pushing themselves to reach the next level. But the things I love doing in life are not about competing with others—they are about expressing and evolving in my own way.

But I do what I do because I love it. For me, what matters most is creating with passion, not competing. Maybe that’s why claiming confidence has always felt foreign to me. Because a claim often demands validation—someone to say, “Yes, you’re truly good at this.”

But an assertion? An assertion is saying, “I am good at this, and that’s enough.” I’m walking my own path. And if I see dark spots along the way, I turn on streetlights—not to prove I’m ahead of others, but simply to make my journey brighter. You can walk with me if you want. Or you can take your own path. And if you ever need support, I’ll be here.

That is something I can assert with confidence.

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Can I Assert My Creativity?

Yes. Because creativity does not require competition. I don’t have to claim uniqueness. I just have to assert it. When I shape an idea, blend colors, or let my words flow, I’m not driven by ambition. I’m driven by passion.

There’s a saying:

“Taste and colors are not to be argued over.” Because I create something. You may not like it. And that’s okay. It reflects my taste. So, does confidence require validation from others?

Or does it come from within?

The Final Question: Do We Really Need External Approval?

When we think of confidence, we often assume it means making a claim: “I am the best, and everyone should recognize it.” But a claim is built on external validation. It requires someone else to confirm it.

If confidence requires external approval, then our belief in ourselves depends entirely on how others see us.

But maybe true confidence is this: To assert “I am good at this”—even before anyone else does.

What would you assert about yourself?