Last week, I found myself falling into a familiar mental trap—overthinking about someone else’s challenges. I kept replaying their situation in my mind, as if I could solve it for them. But here’s the thing: overthinking about others’ problems doesn’t help them, nor does it help us.
Recognizing the Knot That Isn’t Yours
Slowly, I started examining the knot that was causing my unease. This process brought discomfort, pushing me deeper into my own worries. But I didn’t give up. As much as it hurt, I kept analyzing it and eventually accepted its presence. And then I realized: this was not a knot I could untie.
In fact, this knot wasn’t even mine to begin with. I was worried about someone close to me—a loved one. They were rational, experienced, and perfectly capable of handling their life. They didn’t even know I was worrying about them. And to be clear, it wasn’t a dire situation. Yet somehow, I had managed to project my own anxieties onto a minor issue they were facing.
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Practical steps to stop overthinking and refocus on your own well-being. Learn how to accept what you can’t control and trust the process.
The Freedom in Letting Go of Control
When I stripped away my self-imposed worry, I saw the knot for what it really was: a simple, straightforward challenge, the kind we all face.
Even as I looked at it plainly, I found it hard to reconcile. Surely it couldn’t be this simple? But there it was—a knot, unapologetically present. I couldn’t fix it, I couldn’t ignore it, and I couldn’t deny its unpleasantness. It just was.
That’s when I realized: some knots are meant to be stepped over so we can move forward. This wasn’t my knot to untie. I had no control over the situation, nor was it my responsibility.
Shifting Focus to Your Own Knots
Eventually, I shook it off. I reminded myself: this is the knot. Accept it and move on. I repeated one phrase to myself over and over: this is not my knot to untie. It was then that I recognized my mindset. I had slipped into a “hero” role, thinking, “If I can solve this for them, I can ease their burden, make them happy!”
But then I thought about my own knots—the ones I live with every day, including the big one named Multiple Sclerosis. How could I ignore my own struggles to take on someone else’s? Especially when they hadn’t even asked for my help. For all I knew, they were perfectly content with the situation as it was.
A minimalist depiction of a river flowing past stones, representing the beauty of perseverance and inner peace.
Life Is Full of Knots; You will see it when you are not overthinking about others’ problems
We all have our own knots. Worrying over someone else’s challenges doesn’t help either of us. In fact, it only adds unnecessary weight to an already tangled web.
Once I acknowledged this, it was like peeling off an old bandage—freeing the skin beneath to breathe again. The funny thing is, today is Monday, and I’m starting the week with a completely different mindset. My motivation is back, and I feel lighter.
Life is full of knots—some are ours, some belong to others. Maybe true peace lies in accepting their presence and stepping over the ones we can’t untie. After all, doesn’t the river keep flowing, even when there are stones in its path?
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Steps to Stop Overthinking About Others’ Problems
Recognize When You’re Overthinking Pay attention to your thoughts. If you find yourself constantly worrying about someone else’s challenges, take a step back and ask yourself, “Is this my knot to untie?”
Accept What You Cannot Control Not every problem is yours to solve. Sometimes, the best support you can offer is trust in their ability to handle their own struggles.
Refocus on Your Own Well-Being Shift your attention to your own life, challenges, and mental health. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Let Go of the Hero Role It’s not your responsibility to “fix” everything for everyone. Understand that stepping back doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you respect their journey.
Practice Mindfulness Stay present and grounded. Journaling, meditation, or even a simple walk can help you clear your mind and release unnecessary worries.
Trust the Process Life is full of knots, both ours and others’. Accepting that some knots cannot be untied allows you to move forward with more peace.
